


The Bad Old Days

by JonnyCakes, Riddlemethis6647



Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Age Regression/De-Aging, And I Want Whats Best For You, But I Will Have Every Bad Thing I Can Think Of Happen To You, Fear, How Do I Tag, Hurt/Comfort, I Don't Even Know, I Love You, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Our Thought Process Going Into This Was Basically, Past Abuse, Poor Dork Squad, Poor Ed, The Jokers Totally Not Trying To Be Pennywise In Chapter 5, They've Gone Through Some Shit, poor Jon - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-16
Updated: 2019-11-28
Packaged: 2020-10-20 03:44:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,605
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20668775
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JonnyCakes/pseuds/JonnyCakes, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Riddlemethis6647/pseuds/Riddlemethis6647
Summary: While getting chemicals for a new experiment, Jervis accidentally fucks up and now the dork squad are children again with no memory of what they've done.





	1. And so it Begins

The moon shone dimly over head as 4 figures slipped into the window of a tall building. It was late, almost pitch black outside if not for the various street lamps lining the roads and concrete sidewalks. The mission was simple; get in, grab the chemicals Jon needed, and get out before anyone knew they were there. Of course, it could never be that easy, when was anything easy especially for them? It was like fate had decided to say 'Fuck You'™ to the villains as they slipped in, almost unnoticed had it not been for the especially attentive security guard, who, upon spotting the 4 villain, had quickly set off the silent alarm. That guard, who was supposedly sick and not coming in- from Ed’s web of information- was absolutely fine and standing straight against the door they needed to get through. Of course, Dennis saw no problem with this and went straight ahead singing his lungs out “sleepy kitty, warm kitty, purr purr purr” or what have you, and hypnotized the guard to sleep. 

“See guys no sweat!” Dennis yelled as Jonathan sighed, annoyed, “let’s just get what we came for and go” he whisper-yelled back at Dennis who was already halfway through the door. Ed only rolled his eyes as he followed the others.

"Careful not to set off any alarms!" He whispered, eyes searching the ground for potential silent alarms, not knowing about the one already going off that's sure to have attracted the batman already. 

"Yeah yeah yeah…" Jervis trailed off, sounding bored. He seemed to completely ignore Eds warning and decided to run ahead of them.  
“Hey hatter, what chemical was Jon looking for again?” Dennis asked curious and bored, tapping his finger against the table.  
“I believe March hare wanted the purple substance” Jervis said confidently while taking it into his hands “Let us depart!” He announced as he tripped with the substance as the rest of the group had caught up.  
“Oh dear” was all that was heard throughout the building before a cloud of red smoke enveloped them. The smoke seemed to cloud their visions as the clamoured to get out of it, and, before long they could feel their bodies shifting, shrinking and changing. Pan coursed through all of their bodies as the change persisted, growing shorter and sBatman., before it finally stopped. 

When the clouds disappeared, there were 4 children, ages ranging from 7-9, in the spot where 4 fully grown men once were. Luck really wasn’t on their side as the batfam  
arrived at the scene”.. walking past the guard,, Grayson addressed Batman “Hey B why do you think they keep this company afloat? There’s been so many accidents in here it could be a graveyard” Batman just sighed and mumbled something under his breath, not directly answering dicks question at all.

They traveled further into the building, looking for what could have possibly set off the alarm. It wasn't until they found a guard, slumped against the door on the ground with a smiling face, did they find anything wrong. And the sounds of panic on the other side of the door only furthered that conclusion. 

Batman signaled for the others to keep quiet as he pressed his ear against the door, trying to listen in on the conversation. 

"Where are we!?" Sounds of heavy breathing could be heard, and the voice was higher pitched, obviously a child.  
"Who are you people!" It was stated accusingly, as if it was the others fault they were there in the first place.  
The man in black decided he had heard enough of the arguing and burst through the door, effectively scaring the living daylights put of the four children on the floor. 

They were dressed in oversized clothing, the clothes hanging from their bodies like it didn't belong there. Crouched on the floor, the two smaller ones cowering on the floor, while the other two stood in front of them, one more brave than the other, but still frightened. 

"We didn't do anything wrong! I swear! We just woke up here! I'm sorry, we can leave!" The words can out like a jumbled mess, coming from the redhead in green who was cowering behind everyone else. All that could be said of the next scene that occurred was adorable squealing from dick and an ominous fed up sigh of exasperation from Batman, Tonight was gonna be a long and exhausting one for the dark knight.

Dick slowly approached the four children, a large smile etched on his face. "Do you remember what happened, and your names?" The children look at him confused only shaking their heads 

Dennis the more approachable of the bunch replied in a small tone “Where are my parents?” He adorably said with a slight lisp. Batman approached the huddle of children “they’ve gone out for a bit, we're here to look after you” and all he got was a quiet response from the small boy in comical large glasses “They got rid of me?” And the whole group of kids went silent for a second then when Jervis started sniffling the rest broke out with whimpers of their own. “No no no, they just told us to look after you while they had to do stuff, they’ll be back!” Dennis looked at the strange man in a domino mask and put it bluntly “T-then Why are you in costumes?” He hiccuped Batman quickly replied “we were just at a theatre production, your guardians called us at a moments notice, we didn’t get a chance to change out of costume” the other kids were quietly thinking Jonathan side eyeing the dynamic duo but Dennis Just beamed at the two saying “I love Theatre! What was the play?” He said as the other kids were clearing their eyes but before nightwing could reply Jonathan straight out stated “where are our clothes? My grandmother never leaves me with anyone else.” 

Which the two crusaders didn’t expect but dick quickly answered “I dunno kiddo we were just told to pick ya up and take care of ya till they get back” Jonathan looked distrustful but and crossed his arms “fine” he huffed. Grayson and Bats both then drove them back to Wayne manor all that was said from the group of children was a quaint “Your car is cool” and “Ya still didn’t answer my question!”.

\-------------------- 

“so what you’re saying is the four dumbasses did an Opposite Day on themselves?” Jason said with a confused look “no not Opposite Day cause if it were like that they would still retain their normal memories” Tim responded with his fifth coffee of the day in his hands, “What’s an Opposite Day?”, “It’s a movie Dami we’ll watch it later”. 

On the other side of the manor Bruce and Alfred were trying to find appropriate outfits for the kids “I don’t like this color” Dennis pouted, “it’s just blue why don’t you like it” Jervis inquired while putting on the bunny sweater he was given, “I want sparkles on it!”, Jervis looked at Dennis for a moment “we could find some glitter and glue?” Dennis smiled, clasping his hands together he replied “PErFect”. Jonathan and Ed on the other hand were very… well they weren’t trusting, they quietly put on the clothes and then stood there, not talking. “So.. Ed have any hobbies?” Bruce asked breaking the tension.”puzzles.” Ed whispered out, Jonathan looked between the two “I like books.” and Bruce thought up a solution “Well I can see if we have any puzzle toys, and we have a giant library so I do believe we can entertain you two!”.

Alfred was in the kitchen, making snacks for the kids while Dennis and Jervis started getting up to no good. “See I told you, Dennis, here’s some glitter… now we just need some glue.” Jervis said as he held the glitter close to his chest. “EEEE!” Dennis squeaked and hugged Jervis “thank you thank you thank you” Jervis blushed and stuttered out “I-it was N-nothing really.” While on the other side of the mansion Jonathan and Edward were having a wonderful time sitting together both of their heads stuck in a book of their choosing. Bruce silently watched over the two children, waiting for dick to return from looking for the others. He hasn't been there long, having only told dick to look for the other two just as he reached the entrance to the library only 5 minutes ago, but he was still worried about the trouble the other 2 could have gotten into. Then there was a crash, it startled Ed and Jon, noth looking up from their books in fear. Bruce instantly assumed it was the other kids, but when he walked into the hallway, he saw his two full grown sons on the ground wrestling, and screaming at each other.

“I GET DIBS ON TALKING TOO THE DWEEBS!"  
"NO YOU WILL CORRUPT THEM!” “FUCK YOU!”  
“THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT, JASON!” 

finally Bruce cleared his throat and both boys jumped off each other.  
“He started it!” Jason exclaimed as Damian came running in.  
“Father! I tried stopping these hooligans, but they overtook me!”  
Jason snarled “shut up demon child” and immediately dick responded  
“Stop calling him that Jason!” Bruce, fed up with everyone, simply stated, “if you can’t be civil, go somewhere else, your scaring Jonathan and Edward” that’s when the group of idiots saw the two children peeking from behind the giant library doors.


	2. Spooky Scary Childhood Fears

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning: with reading this you might have squealing fits, go Awwwe, or even have the warm fuzzies. Now buckle your seatbelts and keep your hands on your device at all times, welcome to chapter two.

As soon as the arguing started, Ed and Jon had been pressed up against the door listening, only peeking out with scared faces when Bruce showed up. They didn't quite focus on the words being shouted, only that they were loud, and sounded mean, and they might have been the cause of it. When Ed noticed the others looking at him and his new friend, he stepped out a little ways, cautiously staring at the two who were yelling before, Jon slowly following suite afterwards. 

As any child that was in an abusive household would do, they started shaking.. Edward more so since he really didn’t like men that much, but, all the same Dick and Jason were very very very quick to start apologizing. Damian on the other hand wasn’t much help just standing there with a look that said “I did nothing wrong father, these baboons were the culprits.. not me”. 

Bruce tried to calm the children down by holding them and letting them sob into his shirt, which if you can imagine was covered in snot afterwards. 

“Alfred should be preparing dinner, what would you boys like?” Bruce asked the two former villains. Their responses were almost mechanical in the way they said “Anything please.” And “I’m not picky”. Now reader, the scene of which that I just described broke the poor sods that caused the children grief.. you could even say Jason and Dicks hearts grew three times that day. 

Anyway, who likes caffeine addicts in basements who are trying their hardest to fix a chemical conundrum? I sure do. 

Tim sat at his desk almost weeping with joy at finally cracking at least one part of the formula that was retrieved from off the kids clothes, but at the rate of which he was going he needed help, And who better to call then the amazingly spectacular Barbra Gordon? Needless to say Tim was gonna need a lot more coffee.

He groaned and leaned back in his chair, getting ready to call the aforementioned female. He had been sitting at the desk for a few hours now, and he was getting tired, dispute the large amounts of coffee he had consumed prior to this. 

Suddenly, he felt a slight tap on his shoulder, and he turned around to see two smiling chubby faces. 

"WHAT THE HELL!?" Startled, he fell back, falling out of his chair. He sat there, staring at the children for a second, trying to stop his heart from beating out of his chest. Finally, in a much calmer voice, he spoke. "How did you two get in here?" He was still cautious around the 'former' villains, and kept his guard up. 

The two children, he now identified as Dennis and Jervis, looked excited, and absolutely covered in glitter. "We were looking for glue, when this thing opened up, and we could not just leave it there! We needed to know what was there, so here we are!" Jervis spoke, words jumbling together, and Tim had a hard time deciphering the fast paced sentence. 

"You really shouldn't be here…" he trailed off, watching their faces drop.  
"Are we in trouble?" Dennis spoke up, looking down- finding his shoes much more interesting than the conversation. Tim quickly noticing the kids sadness changed the topic “No uh it’s- it’s fine, uhm- so... would you like to see the cool trinkets?” As soon as Tim uttered the last word trinket both kids lit up like Christmas trees jumping up and down whilst holding each other “YEA ABSOLUTELY” the duo exclaimed. 

Now what Tim didn’t account for was that the duo both went straight for their adult counterparts memorabilia, to be more specific Music Meisters Cane And one of Hatter's Hat. “l-look Jerv a cane!” Jervis nodded clumsily while trying to hop up and grab the hat. “Hey, kids that stuffs a no go on touching..” Tim hastily said thinking about how adult Jervis reacts to wearing hats. Once again the kids shoulders slumped “mmsorrymisterdidntknow” Dennis mumbled out  
Time sighed and gave in, despite his better judgement “it’s fine really.. I overreacted here.” Tim then handed Jervis the hat he was reaching. 

What happened next you may be wondering? Well,Jervis put on the hat and ... said “I feel like- I want tea..” Dennis looked at Jervis a bit like one would to a person who had just stuck their hand in a lions cage.  
“Tea!? That’s leaf water! Yucky!” He said sticking his tongue out,  
“I.. like tea though.”  
Tim, who was holding his breathe this whole time, simply suggested “well what if we go upstairs and get you two some tea and... uh?”  
“HOT CHOCOLATE!!”  
“hot chocolate.. alright!”  
Then the one adult and two miniaturized rogues went upstairs to get something to drink.

While Jason and Dick apologized to the kids and even offered to play games like cluedo, monopoly and other “smart” games, Bruce was heading towards the other side of the mansion to ask Alfred how the other kids were doing, when he opened the door it looked like Alfred was bending over looking under a table.  
“Ahem, uh so Alfred how are the kids?”  
Alfred composed said “Absolutely fine Master Wayne, we are just playing a lovely game of hide and seek.” 

Bruce laughed heartily “You find them yet?” Alfred pauses “of course sir, just checking if they left they’re toys under anything.” And luckily at that exact moment Tim came in with both boys and they’re drinks of choice. Bruce smiled and nodded. 'Well, alright. I just wanted to make sure everything was going well!" He turned, waving to the two small children who had recently joined them.

A little ways away from the smallish group, two other boys were investigating a small opening in the wall. They seemed too scared to step in it, the dark abyss that seemed to stretch on was too terrifying for the minds of the children, but they were also curious as to what it held.

Finally, after some minutes of quietly discussing it, Jon seemed to convince Ed it wouldn't be fine. They stepped in, and they descended into a dark cavern, but was more well lit than the entrance.

They looked around in amazement, instantly gravitating towards the items of their adult counterparts.

Ed grabbed a green hat and put it on, turning towards Jon with a cheeky grin. "Don't I look cool!" Jon laughs and picks up a small vial. 

"Hmm…" he trailed off, examining the colored gas. "What's this?" He examined the glass container more closely, Ed getting close as well.  
'I don't know…" he trailed off, accidentally tripping over a wire that was laid haphazardly across the floor. He knocked into Jon, making him drop the container, and it snaked around them, covering them in it. They wouldn't only learn the effects it had on them after I kicked in a few minutes later. But for now, they thought it was a harmless gas.  
Then the hallucinations kicked in.

Ed looked around the room caving in on itself he closed his eyes and when he opened them he was home “Hello?” He called out.. but all that he received was the sound of belt hitting wood, it was getting closer “dad!?, dad please!” He screamed curling into a ball. Jon’s hallucination could be described as worse though what Jonathan has already been through it wasn’t absolutely enough for his brain to realize it wasn’t real, he was locked in the basement again, no warm clothes, no new friends, and his grandmother was dead in the corner rotting away in front of him, but the worst part was that she was still screeching at him, rotting corpse convulsing grossly on the ground as her scratchy voice spoke, “YOU ARE AN ABOMINATION, YOUR MOTHER WAS TOO, BE GLAD GOD GAVE ME THE WILL TO SAVE YOU FROM DEATH BOY.” He curled onto himself weeping, scared and alone.

When Damian walked into the cave, since his brothers had told him too search for the kids, he expected they wouldn’t be down here.. but what he found were the two of them hugging their knees on the cold stone floor next to a broken vile of some sort. He froze and ran to get his brothers as fast as he could.

The first one he found was Dick. He was sitting on the floor, reading Alice in Wonderland to the two children sitting before him. Jervis looked like he was entranced by the book, and Dennis just looked happy to be there.

Out of breath, and more than panicking, his words to him came out like a jumbled mess when he tried to speak. Coming out more like "KIDSFOUNDBASEMENTBROKENVILESOBBING" Then, "I FOUND THE TWO OTHER KIDS SOBBING IN THE BATCAVE NEXT TO A BROKEN VILE AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!" Which left Dick more than confused, and the other children a little scared. 

"OK, slow down! Now tell me, what happened?" He stood up as he spoke, placing the book down on the ground and walking towards the other man.  
"I found the other shorties in the bat cave sobbing the or eyes out next to a broken vile. I don't know what's happened." he spoke more slowly, leaning on the door looking a little worried.. Dick seemed to process this for a moment, before the information really sunk in. Suddenly, his eyes were blown wide, and he was rushing past Tim and Jason towards the bat cave in search for Jon and Ed.


	3. Chapter 3: Electric Boogaloo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> To the person who wanted a refund in the last chapter, here you go!  
Warning, you might die of cuteness, for real this time.

What the four brothers found were the kids still cradled into balls onto the floor  
“Fuck.. were not telling Bruce about this.” Jason said “Jason pick up the kids get them safe, Damian clean up the glass and toxin, Tim get the antidote!” Dick barked at the others, “I’m gonna distract Bruce and Alfred.” 

It all passed like a blurry dream, the kids being taken upstairs after getting their antidotes from Tim, The quick way Damian cleaned up the mess and immediately followed after where the children were being taken, and Dick explaining to the other kids that Jon and Ed simply had gotten a little hurt. 

Damian demanded that the kids recovered in his room with the pets, “Demon spawn, those pets you have won’t help the kids calm down when they wake up.”  
Damian snapped back, “Are you calling Titus and Alfred bad pets?” he glared, and Jason quickly responded,  
“No , But Goliath is a D.E.M.O.N!” Jason said, not taking into account the other kids  
“you guys have a pet demon!?” Dennis said in awe while Jervis tried to process everything.  
“And a pet cow.” Tim put in bluntly.

Suddenly, all across the house, all the residents could hear was a loud squeal, startling the other boys in the room and waking up the other toddlers. "OHMYGOSHANIMALS!!" Jervis looked overly excited, jumping up and down and running over to Damian. "SHOW ME THEM PLEASE!!"

"What?" Ed sat up, rubbing his puffy eyes.  
"De...mon?" Jon, Who had been awake a few minutes earlier, spoke up in confusion. 

Damian, rubbing his ringing ears from the loud squeal, nodded. "Come on, will show all of you."

\-----------------------------------------------

Jervis was shooting around the room, looking in awe at all the animals, before sitting in front of the bat demon, Goliath. The other toddler seemed to gravitate towards one or two animals instantly.  
Jon sat beside Alfred, a black and white kitten, who was running around him and brushing against Jon's legs. Ed seemed drawn to Ace, a German shepard who just sat there, enjoying the feeling of gentle hands running up and down his back. Finally Dennis was drawn towards Bat Cow, who let the small boy climb onto her back and sling his arms around her neck.

Damian watched over the small children, smiling at the interactions between the animals and small boys. Jon and Ed seemed to have calmed down from their scare, the animals having helped them recover. “Goliath likes the back of his ear scratched.” Which was true as that the big fluffy demon was now putty in Jervis’s tiny chubby hands. 

While the kids were getting their therapitaic time, the other adults were talking about what they were going to do as Alfred prepared dinner  
“So master Bruce how long do you think they will be like this?” Bruce contemplated the question and then answered “ a couple days at the least, it really depends on how quick Tim gets the antidote ready, why the kids too much for you?” Alfred laughed “ If I could handle you as a kid I can handle anything.” 

Barbra arrived with no prior knowledge of what was happening only that Tim needed help “urgently”. “Well hey guys, what was Tim’s ‘urgent’ emergency?” She asked, stopping short when she came face to face with a room full of toddlers petting animals. “What….?” She trailed off, looking at Bruce in confusion. “What’s going on here…? Why do these children look like the-“ 

She was quickly cut off by a mixture of Tim, Dick and Damian. “SHHHH! They don’t know what they did!” Dick whispered, shushing her with his finger pressed to her lips. 

The toddlers looked up, finally noticing the new person in the room. “Hello..” Ed said, petting Alfred, “Heya!” Dennis exclaimed, whilst Jervis shyly hid behind his friend. Jon, on the other hand did not take nicely to the new visitor at all going behind Goliath, The Huddle of past and present robins noticed these and concluded that Damian was to make sure Jonathan felt safe enough that he doesn't lock himself out from the rest of the family.

“Soo? How was today?” Barbra asked innocently raising one brow.. “IT WAS FANTASTIC, I GOTTA GET GWITTERVANNMHH” Dennis was interrupted by almost nearly choking to death on the macaroni he neglected to put into play that he was eating, the other kids took their turns of telling they’re day but it stopped at Jon and Ed, “Different” was all Barbra could get outta Ed, while Jon looked near catatonic just remembering the “Nightmare”.

While the dinner was happening, there was a rather loud crash that came from the hallway. When Bruce went to investigate, he found Stephanie Brown, aka Spoiler, helping Carrie Kelley, otherwise known as “Backup Robin”, out of the window. 

“Hey B.W! Heard you had macaroni and some cute kids!” Steph said almost vibrating with excitement.  
“I came for Mac and cheese, and only Mac and cheese.” Carrie said from her spot on the ground.  
Carrie jumped up and put her arm around Stephanie.  
"Soo.. got room at the table for two more?" Bruce internally groaned but only nodded his head and led them to the table. At least they livened the mood, and by that I mean, Carrie started a food fight with the kids, while Barbra looked at Alfred with tired eyes and Stephanie only cheered Carrie on.

After dinner, and some much needed wash time, the kids were all tuckered out. “Bedtime story?” Dennis asked as Jason tucked him in.  
“How’s about a game instead?” Dennis nodded sleepily “It’s called ‘Go to sleep’.” Dennis whined while the other kids silently watched.

After a while of Dennis repeating “Story Time” over and over again while Jervis and Ed joined him Jason gave in “fine fine. What story do you wanna hear?” The kids quieted down, and said nothing until Jonathan spoke up “The Headless Horseman.” He bluntly put it.

While Jason was reading “The Headless Horseman” which he got outta the Wayne library luckily the Jervis and Ed conversed “I hope he doesn't turn the light out.”  
“He won’t, look”  
“Mr. Jason?” He asked “Yes?” Jason sleepily responded  
“Can you keep the lamp light on before you go?”  
“I believe I can” Jason said finishing up the story. 

Jervis and Ed smiled at each other silently Bonding. Then the four rascals went to bed happily knowing they had a hot breakfast and nice people looking after them too look forward too in the morning.


	4. Eni mini miny fluff

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Welcome dear visitors! In this chapter, you will find; letters, limos, and very pretty ladies~

Ed cracked his eyes open, looking around the room quickly before standing up and stretching. The rest of the kids seemed to still be sleeping, as the sun had yet to completely rise. Which left Ed completely to himself.

Not a good thing. 

Deciding to explore the house on his own, he walked down the stairs, glancing at the walls and tables. He quickly grew bored of just looking at walls and such, he decided to just go to the library. Getting an idea, he shuffled around until he found what he needed; paper and pencils.  
Jervis woke up secondly, tiredly yawning and rubbing his eyes. he looked around with blurry eyes and started to get up. Walking downstairs, he found Ed on the floor scribbling words down on a piece of paper,  
“Morning! Can I see what your doing?” Jervis curtly asked, leaning down next to him, Ed only nodded as he did so. “I’m writing my mom a letter, so she knows I’m alright. or, at least, you know, made friends.”

Jervis grinned, "that's awesome!"  
"I guess…" his eyes shifted to the left, a red blush dusting over his cheeks as he spoke. 

It was a few minutes later that the other two woke up, seemingly at the same time. 

They both sat up, rubbing the sleep from their eyes. Jon looked around, noticing the lack of the other two before his eyes landed on Dennis. He was still rubbing at his eyes, and a small yawn fought its way past his lips. 

"Good morning Dennis." He spoke, his voice tired. He didn't get much sleep. The beds were comfortable, and he felt safe at this house, but every creek and every sound just wouldn't let him sleep. I guess insomnia will do that to a person. He had only fallen into a fitful sleep 4 hours prior to waking up.  
Dennis grinned, "good morning, Jon!" 

Dispute only having just woken up, Dennis was a little ball of energy. By the time he answered Jon, he was already up and heading for the doors, almost leaving Jon behind. 

Not wanting to be left alone, the lanky redhead quickly stumbled out of bed and followed after Dennis. "Where are you going?" Jon asked, looking at Dennis with a raised eyebrow.  
Dennis only shrugged in response, humming a small tune as he walked happily down the hall.

The boys all met up in a huddle on the floor each one of them with pieces of paper and pencils in their hands, and that’s the first thing Bruce saw when he walked downstairs, 4 kids, in a cult like circle, silently scribbling away at the paper.  
“Ahem” Bruce cleared his throat, a smile etched on his face, “so, uh, who's up for a walk in the park?”. Dennis And Jervis both hopped up, running to Bruce.  
“really? Really!” They asked, and Bruce chuckled,answering their questions.  
“By the way, what were you four doing?”  
“Writing letters to our parents!” Was Dennis’s blunt, but simple response.

Bruce’s little smirk faltered and he stood there for a moment, before returning to his smile and asking the boys, "who wants to sit next to me in the car?"  
Surprisingly, Edward spoke up first requesting the seat in mention, “I would like to sit next to you.” He spoke shyly, but with an air of confidence. 

Jervis and Dennis whined about wanting “dibs”, but it was all for nothing, since the limo had enough seats for all four of them to sit next to Bruce. It was decided that Jason and Dick will sit by themselves on the other side, something they weren't happy about. The ride went smoothly, the kids chattering to each other, each excited by different aspects of the park, and the adults of the vehicle.. well they just talked quietly to each other whilst still checking on the children after each few sentences they uttered.

When they finally got there Dennis and Jervis went running in front of everyone else and accidentally bumped into two quite nice lady’s.  
The First Lady had vibrant red hair and very more vibrant emerald eyes, whilst her partner had lovely silky blonde hair and baby blues that could make angels weep. 

All in all, they were the best people Jervis and Dennis could have ran into.  
Dick noticing the commotion was the first to go running after the boys apologizing profusely until he finally looked up and saw who he was talking to. Poison Ivy and Harley Quinn, Ivy Just replied curtly, “It’s fine, no harm no foul.” While her counterpart just squealed with delight.  
“Look how cute these two are red! I could just eat them up! Yes I could!” She said as she pinched the now blushing confused boys cheeks.  
“Come on Harley we have places to go.”  
“Buuut reed these kids are soooo cute!”,  
“Harley if you let go of the kids I promise we will go to a local pet shop and you can pet all the cute things you want.” Harley suddenly latching on to Ivy kissing her on the cheek started exclaiming  
“Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!”  
When the other kids and adults caught up to the others Ivy and Harley were almost gone, but the second Harley saw Ed and Jon she started squealing again as Ivy dragged her away.

The four kids stood there, a little dazed from the sudden attention, and only stared after the two ladies as they walked off, blushes dusting their cheeks. Dick, who was watching the interaction with wide eyes, simple cracked a smile.  
"They are right, you four are really cute." He ruffled Eds hair as he spoke. Jason only glared after the two girls, standing in front of the four kids protectively, with his arms crossed. 

Bruce ushered the kids forward, trying to distract his wards from the two…. Maybe… reformed villains, and instead focus on the four children. "Hey, look! A nice swing set! Why didn't we go over there!" 

Instantly the four kids perked up, running over to the metal swings, giggling with excitement. Jervis lead the pack of children, the most excited of the four. “Let’s play pretend!” He exclaimed, jumping up and down whilst still on one of the swings, “be careful!” Ed and Jon cautioned as Dennis simply sat and played with the flowers on the ground.


	5. Bobo the Clown Goes Bobo Insane

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Woah, two chapters in one day? I hope nothing that has to do with that one tag goes down today. Its totally not going to end in a cliff hanger though, I can garentee you that.

Bruce, Jason and Dick sat on a nearby bench chatting whilst the kids played a game they decided to call, “The Pirates, Sherlock Holmes and tea party Game”. The adults being distracted by a nearby shady person, who undeniably was not just there for plot convenience. The kids, who weren’t being watched at that specific moment, wandered off.

There at a stand selling red balloons was a clown, the clown had green hair, and, well, ya know, a purple suit. Dennis approached this stranger with some quarters he had found early that day.  
“Hello there would you like to buy a balloon?” He said in the most creepiest and not trusting voice. It kinda sounding like Tim curry even.  
Jon intervened, “Dennis let’s get back to the adults, we’re not supposed to talk to strangers.”  
The clown only gave them all a creepy smile, “well let me introduce myself then! I’m Joker, Joker the balloon clown, and you are Dennis, Jon, Ed and Jervis! See we’re not strangers!”jervis backed away slightly when he heard the clown say his name.  
"How did you know our names?" Ed spoke cautiously, backing up along side Jervis.  
"I heard it earlier, when your daddy called your names!" He tilted his head, clapping his hands. In Dennis's, that made perfect sense. He was at a perfect distance to have heard their conversation, and while he couldn't recall Bruce saying any of their names, maybe he just didn't hear it. Ed only looked more worried, but his fears were pushed back slightly at the explanation. 

"That doesn't matter! We still don't know you!" Jon spoke, voice raising. Joker only seemed to smile wider at his outburst.  
"Come on, don't be that way! We're all friends here!" Jervis nodded his head vigorously at Jon's words, his fear of clowns coming back to haunt him, and he stepped back further at the clowns response. 

Jon tugged at the other kids sleeves trying to call for the adults but alas, the adults were preoccupied with the shady figure who, outta nowhere, started to try and stab some people for no good reason. Well, I mean, it’s Gotham so maybe a good reason was under those damn sunglasses he was wearing. Anyways, while two of the kids were confused and mortified the other two were having quite different reactions. Dennis was being an oblivious idiot, while Jon was about to punch that damn clown into next week. The next moments were silent, until a pop of balloons, filled with knockout , were heard. The kids all fell into a pile in front of the Joker, who was wearing a gas mask that had writing on it that said something along the lines of “night night kiddies” or what have you.

\---------

It wasn't until later, when the mysterious figure (who totally want here just for plot convenience) was caught and arrested, that the adults noticed the lack of kids. More specifically, four villains-turned-kids. 

Cue freak out from Dick, internal screaming from Bruce, with only a frown on his face to show his worry, and, finally, panic from Jason. 

This was turning out to be a wonderful day for the batfam. 

They drove back to the house in a panic after searching every inch of the woods, with only a scrap of balloon to show for their efforts. There was a lot of arguing in the car as they drove.

"You should have paid more attention to them!"  
"Me!? I was occupied by that goddamn stabby civilian!"  
"Both of you shut up! This is all of our fault!" 

The vicious bark from Bruce finally got him some price and silence to think. What could have happened to them? Where did they go? Where they kidnapped? Who took-  
He stopped cold and tensed up. 

He recalled an earlier warning on TV this morning he overheard as had eaten breakfast that morning, and the reason Barbara, Tim and Damian had stayed behind this time around, despite constant complaints from Barbara. 

Joker had escaped from Arkham. 

Tim and friends had stayed behind to research a cure, but also try to track Joker so he could be put back behind bars before too many people had gotten hurt. 

A scowl appeared on his lips and he gripped the steering wheel tight. He could have been growling if not for his clenched teeth. The passengers noticed his change in demeanor and quickly came to the conclusion that Bruce had already found out who they were looking for. 

They pulled up to the house, and down to the back cave they went, Bruce explaining on the way. The explanation left his wards feeling cold, a pit of dread forming in their stomachs.

\---------

The kids woke up groggily, each one tied to a chair facing a single static television. Jon was quietly surveying the room. it was almost pitch black, but, from the cold concrete his feet were touching and the drips of water coming from above, where he thought he heard squeaking, he could tell they were in a basement of some sort. He wasn’t going to tell the others, who were looking at each other, each with a different sad expression, that he was scared, no he couldn’t even say anything to his new found friends that could comfort them. Not that he didn’t try. It’s just hard to talk when your gagged. 

What seemed like hours, which could have easily been minutes, the kids saw the television light up, and that creepy voice slowly took focus. What was on the tv was just what seemed like a trash can, but the menacing laughter started up and out of the trash came the clown prince of crime, “I know a trashy joke, but who can blame me when I brought you here just to make fun of you?”  
When they thought that was “ it'', the clown paused on the screen staring not blinking. The children screamed as the real joker popped out from behind the television quipping “what not big fans of the grunge?”


	6. Kiteman Hell Yeah!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Uh things and stuff, you like conspiracy theorist type dudes? Cool I do too.

Chapter VI

When the creepy balloon clown came out from behind the TV, the kids screamed, and Joker, doing his quip, started to cackle like the mad man he was. 

“Sooo kiddies, or should I say, adultries… hmm, doesn't roll off the tongue well…" he stroked his chin, "How are you doing? Don’t you know it’s impolite to not speak when spoken too?” The kids muffled squeaks and, what sounded like Ed trying to say “Let us go” was all he got as a response.

Now dear reader, I’ll skip the theatrics and get to the good parts, Joker monologuing about how weird the dork squad was, and then going on a tangent about “How could Harley leave me!? I only threw her out a window.. on multiple occasions.” Kinda like that one English teacher you have that describes Romeo as a cold hearted man or whatever, and constantly switching subjects. Anyways, my point is the entire time, Joker was just being really confusing and making quite a few jokes that weren’t kid friendly. 

Whilst the kids were getting monologued to death, the Bat-Family was looking urgently all over Gotham for them.   
Thugs in the streets rumored that Wayne paid big bucks for the kidnapped kids to be brought home safely, and that the kids were being interrogated because they were adopted from some bad people, like Ra’s al Ghul or something- but then again, the second option sounded ridiculous.

The Batfam drove all over town, 'talking' to thugs and bad people who might know where the Joker's hideout would be, but it wasn't until they searched for a few hours, would they get a clue. Some unnamed thug spotted a dude in a purple suit carrying something over his shoulder into a nearby warehouse- 'always with the warehouses!'. He didn't get a good look at his face, but the lead looked promising. 

“So.. this is boring.” Jason said from his spot on the rooftop, while Damian sat perched like an eagle in front of him.  
“It’s called a lookout mission, Todd.” 

While those two were looking out in front of the warehouse the other, two bats were sneaking inside. Just imagine nightwing doing over extravagant backflips into an open window while Bruce Just grapples in. A regular day overall, the bat kids get used to kidnappings when it happened to them all the time until the rogues figures out every time they try, Batman comes and beats the shit out of them. 

\------

“Ugh” a muffled groan came from one of the mini dorks when joker started doing his ‘I’m so sympathetic’ act… for about the fifth time that night.   
“Oh woe is me, bats won’t even pay attention when I kidnap his new “kids”.” The whole group was pretty confused, since joker kept insinuating that they were fully grown adults when in fact they were kids. 

“All in all, not as weird as some of the things kiteman spews out when he’s depressed” Dick whispered to Bruce from the rafters. Bruce only grunted in response.  
"OK, good talk." 

Joker seemed to notice the unwelcome guests, and he squealed in delight. "BATS! YOU FINALLY CAME!" A huge grin grew on his face as he turned his attention away from the kids. 

The kids seemed happy about that- because he's stopped his dumb 'monologue', and because his attention was elsewhere. 

Dick swung down, his feet connecting with the Jokers face, before landing in front of the kids.   
"Aw shucks, im hurt you didn't even say hi." A smirk tugged at his lips as Bruce radioed for the rest of the team. 

Joker growled, standing up with a scowl on his face. "Didn't your mommy ever teach you some manners," his voice came out as a low growl, and Bruce found this a good time to intervene. 

He swung down as well, landing a few feet away from the clown.   
“It’s over Joker.” He said as the clown just laughed maniacally, “Over!? This game of ours is NEVER going to be over batsy. The fun has just begun.” He said throwing a smoke bomb and disappearing into the night.

That left Bruce and the rest of the Batman family with children that were slightly less traumatized when they first had them, though Dennis seemed very excited over the “Super Cool Awesome Villain-Hero Fight!” While the other kids just looked plain tired. (That’s what happens when ya wonder off kiddos.) Anyways, the bat family plus the tiny dork squad all got home safe and sound… except for the arguments that plagued the ride home, such as; “How does two fully grown adults lose FOUR children!” Which was started by Damian, and quickly ended by Bruce, and another classic “He’s hitting me!.” And “No I’m not!” By Jervis and Dennis and, Finally, a fight of staying awake with Tim (the poor boy hadn't gotten much sleep lately).

————

-In Penguins Club-

“I'm Telling ya Ozzie, those kids looked like dead ringers of Eddie, Jonny, Denny And Jerv!” Ivy sighed as Harley kept going on her tangent, whilst Oswald had almost fully had it, grabbing a nearby drink and chugging its contents. Where as Oswald drinked to dim the sound of the sometimes annoying blonde, the other rogues at the table didn’t listen at all… except for two.

Bookworm nodded along as Harley told her tale, while Kiteman was hooking on to each syllable she uttered.   
“It makes perfect sense!” He muttered under his breath, but then Harley ended it with, “But that’s just a coincidence really.”   
Bookworm adjusted his glasses and kite-man choked on thin air.  
“But.... IT MAKES PERFECT SENSE.” The other rogues looked at him sternly “what makes sense?” Harvey growled out.  
“They got turned into kids!” He said, exasperated. “And adopted by Bruce Wayne? Psssh you’re off your rocker more than usual.” Condiment King, of all people replied. Various other rogues grumbled their agreements. 

'CRASH!'

The rogues turned their attention to the door, seeing the man clad in purple stroll in like he owned the place, door swinging violently behind him. 

"I don't recall inviting you…" penguin grumbled crossing his arms.   
"Fortunately for you, I invited myself!" He laughed, patting his fellow villains shoulder.   
The villains in the room tended and some even growled at the sight of the clown, and distinctively you could hear someone mutter death threats under their breath.

“Now now! Is that any way to greet the guest of honor!?” Joker laughed hysterically wiping a fake tear from his face, “Any-Whoo I have some great news!! I’m gonna kill some fellow rogues to lighten the mood!.”   
The room grew silent, everyone waiting for their cue as if to say “when he moves we shoot him.”  
Though, some of them were relaxed, calling his bluff. Kiteman, on the other hand, was about to piss himself, but asked a stupid question anyway.

“which r-rogues.” He stuttered out. Joker waved his hand in a dismissive motion,   
“The four idiots hanging out with Batman, DUH!” he spoke, confusing everyone a bit more.   
“You mean I’m right? About the rogues?” Joker nodded.  
“Of course it’s common knowledge, just like that Batman is bru-" But before he could utter another syllable, Catwomen decked him in the face, knocking him out instantly.  
“We were all thinking about it, I was just the one to do it.” She started boardly, going over to the bar and pouring herself a drink. 

“This has been interesting so far,” And “Would you expect anything different in Gotham” was heard around the room as the group went back to what they were discussing beforehand.


End file.
